It comes without warning… and I’m in it again.

     Oh, God, it feels so good. This position.

     This is it… this is it.

     Don’t stop… don’t stop. That’s it, keep going…

     I’m elated. I’m in ecstasy. I need more. Much more. I’m in over my head again. I’m in way too deep… but I can’t stop myself.

     I won’t.

     I don’t need to, my other side argues.

     You’ve got this.

     You 100% got this.

     I stare straight ahead. My eyes hold a dangerous gleam. My senses are all heightened; everything takes on a visceral sense. I am in another state, another world, another mind. My heart races and its good today. So good.

     My cat, Sam, enters my bedroom. He jumps on my desk and sits beside me, erect and kingly.

     I grab my mouse and it falls into my hand as easily as the apple Adam took from Eve, and I click and click, buying more and more.

     I’m sitting in front of six computer screens… and I’m day trading. I’m in a Chinese stock tied to cryptocurrency: SOS and it’s going higher… and higher.

     I bought in way too high days ago, and it had plummeted. I was going to leave it alone, let it ride, not sell out of my other positions, but I had to.

     Because if I averaged down and bought more, I would make more… eventually… when it popped.

     And boy, was it about to!

     It just broke out of a descending channel and hit a new weekly high. The stock was still hammered; I managed to get my account back up to $211,000 from $25,000 when I blew up trading Apple options. What a nightmare that was.

     But I came back.

     Because I always come back.

     I’m a trader.

     A f*cking trader.

     I can, and do, beat the market on a daily basis.

     And today will be no different.

     Today I will win.

     Because that’s what it’s all about: winning.

     And I’ll always be a winner.

     My finger twitches… I hit the keys… stocks flash in green and red, a dizzying narcotic blur of columns and numbers. Warp speed… Everything’s a blur. The blinds are closed; there are no reminders that a real world of duty or drudgery exists beyond my seductive cocoon.

     Assurance and wisdom fill my enormous green eyes with radiant luminosity as the stock ticks up.

     The phone rings. Ignore it, I tell myself. I’m too close now…

On the fourth ring, I hear it: “Jolette, it’s Paul. I’ve left you four messages. Will you ever call back?”

     I see a spider walking across the cover of my FORTUNE magazine. I lift the magazine, carry it over to the open window, and set the spider free.

     On the cover is a large photo of hedge fund extraordinaire Steven Benson staring right back at me. The article asks: “Manipulator or Visionary?” I stare at Steve Benson’s photo more intently. He’s perfectly coiffed with a king-of-the-world smile. I’d give anything to work for him someday.

     Sitting back down at my desk, I reach for my red bandana and wrap it around my forehead. I study charts assiduously. My heart pounds with increasing speed. Adrenaline burns through my bloodstream.

     I check the stock message boards:   From TexasTrader12: “I am out with my girl and saw the price. My boner exploded through my pants and knocked over the table.” From BlockChainStar: “Hold til 80! Don’t sell!” with the stupid Leonardo DiCaprio GIF from the Wolf of Wall Street.

     I turn to the chart again. And I’m astonished that one can make this fast, this easily, this much money with the click of a mouse.

     I start to click and unload the shares as the stock goes higher and higher, clicking and screaming, “OHHHHHHH YESSSSSSS!!!”

      Selling into the momentum, I keep going. “YES! YESSSS! YESSSSSS! And a glorious message pops up on my screen: “You sold 8,800 shares of SOS at $9.03, net profit +$15,654.”

     I’m manic, euphoric, orgasmic!

     “We did it, Sammy!” Jumping out of my chair, wearing short-shorts and a white T-shirt, I kiss my cat on my desk and twirl around! “FIFTEEN GRAND IN THE BAG!”

     “That’s fifteen thousand, not fifteen hundred, Sammy – fifteen THOUSAND DOLLARSSSS!”

     Sitting back down in my chair, I stare at my screens, contemplating my next trade.

     I’m lost in a high so incredible, I will chase it again and again for all the rest of my days.

     I check the chart of Bed Bath and Beyond. It looks delicious. I back up the truck and buy in. A tasty 7,000 shares.

     I also see a new trending cryptocurrency, Vechain. Also looks juicy. I buy in. It’s only .12 cents so I can buy hundreds of thousands of coins.

     Let’s go…

     Making one dollar is too many.

     Making fifteen thousand is never enough.

     Bring it!

* * *

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     This is a work of fiction. All the characters and occurrences herein are the product of the author's imagination. Though real life locations feature as settings throughout the work, the incidents that occur herein are exclusively fictional. Any similarity in characters or events to real life people, living or dead, or actual occurrences, are coincidental.

H E D G E D

@copyright Citygirl Juliana Jones 💕💋

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READ CHAPTER ONE HERE of The Valentine's Day Concert!